I have come to realize that. I can't imagine being satisfied with myself. Have you ever gotten that kind of feeling >>1? Now, I feel good. It's not so bad to not have found my ideal self. I can have fun searching for that.
I'll look forward to the time when I can feel good about myself for while. Everything I see, I'll get, bite, and take those experiences into myself.
I have decided that my lifestyle has not been leading towards anything. I will quit that habit for while to see what happens.
Since I have started to get to know myself, many possibilities have become more realistic. This town is starting to look interesting again.
I feel the freedom I may find in the future will be very exciting, and will be hard to understand with the word "Freedom". Have you found yourself yet? We all do our best until we feel good.
>>1 I am an exorcist who drove out an evil spirit from ONE. I'm very sorry ONE had started this thread. I apologize this thread have hurt your feelings. Normally ONE is a kind boy who could not harm even a fly. But one day, out of curiosity he played Kokkuri-San. He may have done it only for fun, but his curiosity affected his fate. What occurred to him? An evil spirit possessed him. He was no longer what he had been. Everyday, with raising a strange cry, he would urinate, defecate, or wound himself suddenly. Then he would sit at the personal computer in his room obsessively, devote himself completely to destroying bulletin boards. His parents were completely at a loss what to do with their son, asked me to exorcize the devil from him. I rushed to his home and what I saw was a horrible sight. His whole body was covered with scars. He gave off a bad smell. He was muttering "Mansei, Mansei" in a low voice. Right away, with uttering an incantation, I sprinkled Holy water on him. An ordinary devil would have gone away at this point. But this one was hard to defeat. At the end I was yelling at it, rather than uttering an incantation. After the struggle I had succeeded in driving out this devil from him. Now peace had returned to his family. I believe he will never behave eccentrically, nor start a thread like this. To the readers of my letter, let me give you some advice, though it may be superfluous. It would be better to keep away from Kokkuri-San and the like.