The two major presidential candidates@` George Bush and Al Gore@` agreed today that Americans are exposed to too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However@` even though they agreed on this main issue@` they disagreed on the details.
The Republican candidate@` George W. Bush@` stated that he felt that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television today. The Democratic candidate@` Vice President Al Gore@` on the other hand@` stated that the media presents Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity.
In other words@` Bush says there is too much gore@` and Gore says there is too much bush!
Cinderella Long@` long ago in a land far away@` a beautiful girl wished on a falling star that she may go to a ball the the Prince was having. When magically appeared her very own fairy godmother@` she granted Cinderella her wish and sent Cinderella to the ball in a beautiful blue dress with crystal slippers@` a glorious carriage with 6 white horses and 2 handsome coachmen. She had one warning for Cinderella@` she said " Cinderella@` you have to be home by midnight@` That is when my magic spell will be broken. Oh and one more thing@` I have put a curse on you if you do not return home by the appointed hour your pussy will turn into a pumpkin." "Ok" said Cinderella. And off she went to the ball. The fairy godmother waited and waited and waited but Cinderella did not come home by midnight@` she didn't return until 9am the next morning. The fairy godmother asked her "where were you? You knew that you had to be home by midnight" Cinderella replied@` "I met a man.....his name is Peter-Peter"
(for those of you who don't know who "Peter-Peter" is@` he is a famous fairy tale "pumpkin" eater)
ちと長いっす。 すまん < Daily prayer > After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken@` the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor. The Pope says@` "What can I do?" The Colonel says. "I need you to change the daily prayer from@` 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.' If you do it@` I'll donate 10 million dollars to the Vatican. "The Pope replies@` "I am sorry That is the Lord's Prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales@` the Colonel panics@` and calls again. "Listen@` Your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.' "And the Pope responds@` "It is very tempting@` Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But again@` I must decline. It is the Lord's Prayer@` and I can't change the words." So the Colonel gives up again.
After two more months of terrible sales@` the Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer@` your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican. The Pope replies@` "Let me get back to you. "So the next day@` the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says@` "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican. The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news. The pope replies@` "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
では短いの。僧侶の道は険しいにゃ〜 Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up@` nude@` in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates@` and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The model danced before the first monk candidate@` with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced@` his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed@` he bent down to pick up the bell@` and then all the other bells began to ring....