After all, writing is not a firm means of self-care but just an attempt to do it. なぜ900も持ってるの? It's to change a thing voluntarily that you wouldn't change in a normal life.
After all, writing isn't an established way of self-healing; it's a mere attempt. 主語がはっきりしないので訳し難い。 To change the whatchamacallit willingly when no one usually would in a lifetime.
>>15 上は良いと思います。 下voluntarilyを先行詞と代名詞の間からchangeの前に移動する。 「you wouldn't change in a normal life.」 文法はいいけど意味的に的確な訳かは微妙。私ならthat以下を that probably couldn't be changed by an ordinary life. とやって主語をぼかすかも。 900は大学で交換留学したから。でも受験のときから英語の偏差値は70くらいだった。
>>16 that以下に動詞がないのが減点対象になります。 原文が体言止めのため、名詞だけの文章でも良いが その場合冒頭のIt's that はいらない。
If you take a blue pill, the tale ends and you return to your old life. Meanwhile, if you take a red pill, you stay the wonder land and I will show you how deep this rabbit hole is.
The blue pill will finishes the story, you can go back to your previous life. On the other hand, the red pill will let you stay the wonderland and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole is.
>>42 分詞submittingの意味上の主語がsolitudeになってしまい、これを平常文に直すと solitude submits by myself. となってしまい文法的におかしいです。 >>42の原文を添削するなら主語をpersonに代えて A person guided by reason is more free to live in a nation by common dicision than to submit to oneself in solitude. となるでしょう。あくまで文法的な添削のみですが。
Five years ago, as I had expected, I was told to go to Eurpe by Government. When I arrived at this Seigon, what I saw and heard are all something new. The travel reports I freely wrote had been added like a mountain for long time, and some of them were taken in newspaper and widely read by many people. But, as I think today, how did the intelligent people feel the trivial thoughts and arrogance without considering self-faculty, at any rate overwriting daily things and life.