・We need = I want ・It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now ・Do what you want = You'll pay for this later ・We need to talk = I need to complain ・Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to ・I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! ・You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot ・You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? ・I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period ・Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs ・This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house ・I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... ・I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white ・Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! ・I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep ・Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive ・How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like ・I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. ・Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful ・You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me ・Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] ・Yes = No ・No = No ・Maybe = No I・'m sorry = You'll be sorry ・Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it ・Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep ・I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important ・All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy "I'm tired" = I'm tired "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex? "I love you" = Let's have sex now "I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys "I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together"=I'm gay