Tomorrow I must leave you again for another trip to visit with iportant people about important things. It's all very,very important. And I wish I were with you ─ because you,Max and Zack,are the most important to me. Peple will ask me questions about AIDS. And I will answer the questions again,as I've answered them a hundred times before. But what I would really like to say is based on something small and simple...us. I'm eager to go out in the world with the message that "if Mary Fisher can get AIDS,so can you." I'll happily donate time to the causes that could enable me to attend your high school graduation. But I'm also eager to stay home. Because I'm keenly aware,in ways I never imagined,of the consequences this ilness has had,is having,and wil have on our family. We have,all of us,now discovered what hundreds what hundreds of thousands of American famiies discovered before us:AIDS does more than kill bodies. It destroys families.
The single hardest day of my life was not the day I heard my test reslts. Stunning as that was ─ standing at LaGuardia air port with you two playing nearby,getting the news from an apologetic ─ more difficult by far was the day I needed to tell your grandfather the truth about AIDS in his family. I did not fear my dying from the disease at that moment. I feared how he might live with the truth. It took me weeks to come to grips with the reality. I kept saying to myself,"This isn't possible.This can't be real." It took me months to move from shock to anger to hurt to grief to surrender and acceptance ─ and only recently,to effective action. Once I had accepted the truth,I expected everyone else would accept it too. I was totally unprepared for the reality that everyone who oved me would go through every stage I'd gone through. If they were shocked and angry,I assumed they were angry with me,because I had this dread disease. I hadn'teven known I was at risk. But when they faced prejudice and stigma because of my condition,I felt guilty,as if I had done something wrong.
文脈的にはどっちにもとれる内容だったんで、 相手は勘違いしてるような気がします。 こういう返事が返ってきました。 I like you so much-i wont be able to fall in love with you. Don't worry,i guess I'm just getting ahead of myself,here.
私がくよくよ悩むたちだといったら、相手がI will be extra nice to you.っていってきたのに対して
You can stay as nice as you are. I don't need "extra". I only need the real sweet feelings which come from the bottom of your heart. と書きました。 私は偽善とか無理とかして親切にしてくれなくてもいいよって意味で書いたんです。