なぞなぞ or ジョークを教えてください。

There was an American, a Chinese and Jewish, driving thru a desert, and their
car broke down. They decided to walk the rest of the way and take parts from
the car to help them on the way.

The American says,

"Let's take the radiator so that we can drink the water inside."

Everyone nodded and thought it was a good idea.

And the Chinese goes,

"We take seats. We sit down tired."

Another good idea and finally the Jewish,

"We should take the door so that we can roll down the window when it gets hot!"

>>74-76

>>A : Knock, knock.
>>B : Who's there?
>>A : Doctor.
>>B : Doctor who?
>>A : That's right.

"Doctor Who" is a British science fiction television show that
ran for 20 years, from the early 1960's until the early 1980's.
A feature film based on the series was made in the 1960's
starring Peter Cushing. It was a very popular show involving
time travel and space adventures. The main character is simply
called The Doctor, but the show is titled Doctor Who since the
Doctor never had a proper name. The most popular actor to play
the Doctor was Tom Baker (early to mid-1970's).

>>A : Knock, knock
>>B : Who's there?
>>A : Arthur who?
>>B : Arthur ['alf a ] minute and I'll find out.

I forgot to talk about the first one.
'alf is like a contraction. The h of half is replaced
by an apostrophe. The person does not know what Arthur's
last name is. He needs 'alf (half) a minute to find out.

>>80
へーそうだったのか。

もっと、おせーて！
おすすめのサイトも、おせーて！

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon
the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many
different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that
3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday
night and 1 for Saturday night.''

The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have
2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one
for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''

http://jodan.kdn.ne.jp/
日本語のサイトだけど。

http://www.JokeEmail.com/ はﾜﾛﾀ｡｡｡

An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how
he's feeling.

"I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got an eighteen year old
bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell
you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season.
But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his
umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking in the woods near a creek
and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up
his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. BAM!! The
beaver drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must
have shot that beaver."

"Exactly"

飛ばし屋のジョニーは自慢のスポーツカーを運転していた。
その時急に目の前に猫が現れハンドルを切って避けたら、
側のガソリンスタンドにそのまま突っ込んだそうな。
生きているのか死んでいるのかジョニー自身も分からなかったんだけど、
ソッと目を開けてみるとそこには【地獄】の文字が・・
果たして何と言うガソリンスタンドに突っ込んだのでしょうか？


Ａ．ＳＨＥＬＬ　車が突っ込んだ勢いで、Ｓの文字が取れたらしい。

こんなんでＯＫ？

sageで書いてしもうた。

おうひさび〜さ
もっともっといけいけ

How do you turn a fox into a bulldog?
Marry her.

>>88
地獄のモーテル 思い出したよ

人間ソーセージ作る映画だね

『出題』

一番長い単語はなんでしょうか？

long

What is always coming but never arrive?

Q. What do a couple of lesbian lovers call fermented
canned tuna?

A. Potpourri - their pussies smell like fermented tuna

Q. In what kind of profession if a man is, does he have
the smallest cock in the world?

A. Body Builders - because they are on the steroids.

Q. In the 21st centry, the technology's advanced at
a far greater speed than ever. Mankind's achieved to
make it possible to re-use the human brains of the dead.
So, naturally several black markets've come to exist
for those craving to replace their brains with the ones
of white-color people, such as Nobel Prize winners,
well known novelists, etc.
Now would the brains of people of what kinda profession
be never bid a price of?

A. Politician

ふふふ

見つけられないの？

１００げっとーーーー！！！
どうよ？

スティルス戦闘機が盗まれてしまいました

どうやって盗まれたのでしょうか？

あげ

>>101
こっそり(by stealth)？

>>103
当り(^^;簡単だったか･･

メール欄に答え書いてたんだが（苦笑

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

The bad golfer goes: Whack... "Shit!"

The bad skydiver goes: "Shit!"... Whack!

ガキ向けだが jokeやってるよ
ttp://www.nationalgeographic.com/world/trythis/justjoking/justjoking_0201/justjoking_0201.html

クイズです。
Hot and cold, which is slower?
ホットとコールドはどっちが遅いか？ってことです。
答えはメール欄

what are largest ant?
(一番大きな 蟻ってなんでしょう）

答えはメール欄に

.

Euro-English
---------------
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be
dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make
words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters
which
have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that
the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o'
be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors
be aplid to oza kombinations of letas.

After ziz fifz yer ve vil have a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu anderstand ech
oza. Ze drem of an united urop vil finali kum tru!

http://korea.hanmir.com/ktj.cgi?url=http://kr.bbs.yahoo.com/bbs%3faction%3dm%26board%3d550034814%26tid%3dbdbafwcw4babdba0tb%26sid%3d550034814%26mid%3d18707%26thr%3d18707%26cur%3d18707

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army.

His lover, Wally, is really worried about his man being unfaithful,
so he asks him to tattoo his name to his penis...He agrees, and does so.
When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y.

Wally, feeling secure knowing that his name is tattooed on his lover's penis ,
says good-bye to his lover as he leaves for Jamaica.

One day, while in Jamaica,
the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes
and stands at the urinal next to him...

The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican
also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see
the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican,

"Wow, that's really interesting.
I guess you have a lover named Wally too."

And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look
and then stretches out his penis and it says,

"Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"

保守　　　　　　　

age

案内係り可愛い女の子に「Mike Hunt」さんを探して欲しいと
頼み、「Anybody's seen Mike Hunt?」と言わせた。
Mike HuntとMy cuntね

なぞなぞいきます。
( )に適語を入れなさい。
(1) The time when Rome was built was ( ).

(2) The reason why a bicycle cannot stand by itself is that it is ( ).

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss
who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does.
The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar,
and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss!
She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your
failure to elect a President in the 2000 Presidential Election and thus
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP
for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without
the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save the Queen", but
only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and
give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may
have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer
be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially,
it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those
of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar
to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty
seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get
together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they
give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world
outside your borders should count ourselves lucky. The Russians have never been
the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national
holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

age

age

３カ国語が話せる人はtrilingual
２カ国語が話せる人はbilingual
では１カ国語しか話せない人は？


答え：Japanese!

American

There was this white missionary working in the
jungles of Africa with a local tribe there.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief got
pregnant and eventually gave birth. The Chief
was utterly shocked when he found out that the
baby was a white boy. He was really confused
so he decided to pay a visit to the missionary.

"Father, my wife gave birth to a baby"
"Why, that's a very good news, Chief. Congrats"
"But Father, it is a white boy!?!?!?"

The missionary thinks for sometime and in a
deep voice replies, "Well Chief, sometimes
nature does work in some strange ways....
The other day I was taking a stroll along the
mountain side and I saw this beautiful black
sheep in a herd of white sheep.."

The Chief looked very surprised and was silent
for a moment before he spoke,

"Okay Father, here's the deal.
You tell no one, and I'll tell no one."

What do Osama Bin Laden and panty hose have in common????
They both irritate Bush!!!!!!!.

Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease
and could drink only human milk.
"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor. "Well, Ruby
Finkelstein's just had a baby, maybe she'll help." So every day
Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby was a dark-eyed,
big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself, gradually became aroused
as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts.
One day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr.
Rugelbaum, do you like it?"
"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.
"is there....," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there
anything else you'd like?"
"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel.
"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly. Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a
little biscuit?"

I received a call from one of those annoying telephone marketers the other day. This lady asked me if I'd be willing to participate in a survey. I agreed to do so.

She began the questions, but I interrupted her. "Wait a second," I said. "Who is this and what organization do you represent?"

She answered my question and continued asking questions.

I interrupted her again. "What's the purpose of this survey?" I asked.

"Sir," she replied irritably, "I don't have time to answer your questions." She then hung up on me.