あなたの文章真面目に酷評しますPart12
402 ：Please criticize.：
Under from this is the text.
An enemy's trench mortar shell reached the target immediately near the
trench, and wound up the coarse particulate.
Although I who was in the trench was saved, the partner who had come
out outside was blown away several by the force of the explosion.
"Beast a foot soldier rush will start, all the members reply preparation !!"
Although a squad commander's voice was able to be heard, I did not care
about it but ran up to a partner's basis Although it fell and the partner was
crowded so that it might fall prostrate on the ground, I have held only the
one hand, and I dragged to the trench as it is, encouraging partner who groans.
The sleeve of a military uniform is torn off, and it is made a bandage,
and twists around the side near the heart from an injury part.
An injury part is the right thigh and an upper right arm. I who judged
that bleeding was severely unmanageable called the medical orderly.
"Medical orderly It has a look early and is an injury soldier!!"
It was then The bullet hit my temple and my life was taken. Although
barbed wire was spread around the front of a trench in order to prevent
a rush of an enemy, fellows do not matter and have rushed at it.
After all, I was not able to survive to the end of the war.
It takes and is a partner. If my name has appeared in what position of
person-killed-in-war list of names or it knows.
How was it? Please give me comment.
An enemy's trench mortar shell reached the target immediately near the
trench, and wound up the coarse particulate.
Although I who was in the trench was saved, the partner who had come
out outside was blown away several by the force of the explosion.
"Beast a foot soldier rush will start, all the members reply preparation !!"
Although a squad commander's voice was able to be heard, I did not care
about it but ran up to a partner's basis Although it fell and the partner was
crowded so that it might fall prostrate on the ground, I have held only the
one hand, and I dragged to the trench as it is, encouraging partner who groans.
The sleeve of a military uniform is torn off, and it is made a bandage,
and twists around the side near the heart from an injury part.
An injury part is the right thigh and an upper right arm. I who judged
that bleeding was severely unmanageable called the medical orderly.
"Medical orderly It has a look early and is an injury soldier!!"
It was then The bullet hit my temple and my life was taken. Although
barbed wire was spread around the front of a trench in order to prevent
a rush of an enemy, fellows do not matter and have rushed at it.
After all, I was not able to survive to the end of the war.
It takes and is a partner. If my name has appeared in what position of
person-killed-in-war list of names or it knows.
How was it? Please give me comment.
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